an acceptable time

continual success breeds shallowness and i write this not to judge those who have been successful but rather to remind myself again, and again, and again, that my greatest heroes are people who failed tremendously and repeatedly and with consequences which i cannot imagine

but at what point am i being delusional, or worse, indulging in what Nieztsche called "slave morality"

why are there piano prodigies and math prodigies, but almost no writing prodigies or general life prodigies

ancient Jewish culture was shaped like this: a child would begin his religious training at the age of 5 and to continue to age 12 or 13. if a boy was intelligent and interested in continuing his religious studies, he would then seek a rabbi to disciple him. discipleship training under a rabbi would usually begin between the ages of 13 and 15.

this means that some of the apostles would still have been teenagers at the time of Jesus's death, resurrection, ascenscion

at the time of the Declaration of Independence, the founding fathers were age ~ 27 - 33. we think of these guys as white-haired boomers but they were more like sensitive young artists ..

reading about tech in the 90s is so heady. ambitious young men pushing hardware pushing software but even pushing laws. let’s just do what users love and we’ll see what happens. let’s just do what technology enables us to do and we’ll see what happens

when i'm bored i like to watch and rewatch the windows 95 launch. unabashed pure ambition and joy tbh. before the skepticism from the doj, before the public skewerings. just celebration of software

my suspicion is that fast tracking happens much faster than people think. the first year, 4 people. the next year, 2. and once it's happened, it's very hard to convince a manager to include someone who was not included

what's with all this worry? madeleine, madeleine. my darling. u don't have to take out your knives and stab and weep and tear yourself open over $5k, $10k. you need to be competitive, as competitive as possible, about opportunities and relationships. what you know for certain is that connection is immeasurable. think of the small constellation of people in the world who believe in you, who would live and die for you: wes, jack, yena, cynthia, noah, poppy. your professor's words written to you on the back of an index card. what's important now is to have a clean house. in your heart, mind, and soul. do not consider yourself superior or inferior to anyone. "i am human, nothing human is foreign to me." have some gratitude, do your stretches, and if you want more, WORK MORE, and WAIT. wait, wait, wait. remind yourself that it will take ~best-case 5 years to get your foot in the door, 10 years to become good, and 20 years to be the best. the very best. i love you. blue sky.